“It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one’s heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.”  Stephen Covey

A strong leader recognizes when he has done something wrong or made a mistake. He is willing to accept responsibility, acknowledge the wrong to the people he wronged, take all appropriate measures to fix it and ensure that it doesn’t happen again. Clean and simple. Excluded from this conversation are John Wayne and Jethro Gibbs. Both are such heroes that their view of apologies as a sign of weakness is understood and accepted.

Of course, we hear more public apologies that we do personal, intimate apologies. Are public apologies the next big thing? I hope not. Politicians, business leaders, sportsmen and other celebrities are in the media daily with some sort of mea culpa. It seems that often they do more damage than good.

Many times the person giving the apology:

• doesn’t take responsibility
• is not specific about the action and the people offended
• actually takes the opportunity to promote his/her good works ( the Tiger Woods Foundation)

Many times the person or people receiving the apology:

• doesn’t know what’s being apologized for
• is made to feel they don’t deserve an apology (If I’ve offended you…)
• is made to feel they must accept the apology
• wonders why they are receiving the apology – will it happen again?
• wonders if the act is their fault
• is made to feel they owe the person something for the “gift” of an apology

The standard for any apology: Be crisp and clean. Be thorough.

Forget Toyoda, Woods or any of the Baldwins. Here’s a real apology issued by NBC in yesterday’s New York Times. Seems the network felt compelled to introduce another human-interest story to the Olympics. So far, so good.

A skater’s mother had died; the skater’s father was in the audience. NBC was looking for reaction shots. They fed us the reaction shots of somebody other than the skater’s father. Simple mistake. NBC should apologize to its viewing audience for misidentifying the father, find the father and say that they will be more diligent in the future. Simple. Over and out.

But no. NBC released the following: “We were given his seat assignment by Skate Canada. It turned out that information was incorrect. We are deeply sorry for the mistake.”

First off, NBC didn’t take responsibility. Actually, they went so far as to blame someone else. Then, remarkably, they pointed a finger directly at Skate Canada, whatever that is. They refer to “the” mistake, not “our” mistake. ”Never ruin an apology with and excuse,” says author-scholar Kimberly Johnson.

Further, it’s not clear what NBC is apologizing for, or for whom they are apologizing. They only referred to “the mistake.” They went on not only to blame Skate Canada, but also to speak for them. Egads.

Don’t you just feel warm and cozy when, upon being informed that the value of your IRA has dropped 38%, your broker proudly proclaims his excellence because the market is down 40%? Thank goodness we have this broker, for without him, our portfolio might have dropped 40%. So NBC is not capable on an absolute basis, but claims to be more capable than someone else. Not setting the bar too high, are we?  The network tried to aggrandize itself by pointing out the failures of others.

NBC was also sloppy and lazy. Since when does being given a seat assignment by a third party constitute a positive identification worthy of being aired?

Somehow, I don’t feel NBC is “deeply sorry.”

Robert M. Kreek is President of Kappa Associates, International, where he leads new ventures, growth initiatives, and reinventions of companies poised for growth.